Quote Originally Posted by Maciamo
Here is the translation of what "Kara" replied to me and which I think is very interesting (hope I didn't mistake in the translation ) :


Moreover, a "reliable person" (tayoreru hito) is the general image of a man with "tayorigai". However, a man who combines all the above surely cannot be bad. Consequently, for women too value reliable men even only for worrying about small things (e.g. carry heavy luggage, work all night to cover one's subordinate's mistakes, take care of a crying strayed child, as organiser of "hanami" do the chores more quickly and efficiently...), which invites goodwill. If there are women who who start going out with such men and be happy, there are also some that wouldn't.

In this way, (I appreciate as a man) the system of misunderstanding [?] works, as there is no point in having women who care only whether a man is "reliable or not", I think that girls in their twenties who like men in their 40ties or 50ties are a minority. However, there may be lots of women who like middle-aged or elderly man, not as lover or husband, but as a counselor. Again, for this minority of girls who like older men, it seems that the reason is not that they like "money", but that because they suffer from a "father complex", lots of them seek men who look psychologically "big" and broad-minded.

[I had some trouble translating the last paragraph above]
I think what I mentioned above is the public image of "tayorigai-ful male" in Japan. But actually, there are hardly any ideal male who can pass all the points above. So females tend to treat small things(e.g. carry heavy luggage, work all night to cover other's mistakes, take care of a crying strayed child, as organiser of "hanami" do the chores more quickly and efficiently...) as the critical evidence of that male's "tayorigai-ness"(instead of searching someone who show his all-round ability to pass all the points.) Such (nonlogical)evaluation often leads them to fall in love. Regardless of this irrationality, some females can enjoy happy life/love with their partners(of course others can't).

40-50ties may be more "tayorigai-ful" than 20ties as you said, but even so, I think that girls in their twenties who like men in their 40ties or 50ties are a minority. Because 1) first of all, there're another important points for girls except "tayorigai-ness", and 2) as I wrote above, the system of misunderstanding about "tayorigai-ness" works well(so 20ties have many chances to be treated as "tayorigai-ful male"). However, there may be lots of women who like middle-aged or elderly man, not as lover or husband, but as a counselor.

Again, for this minority of girls who like older men as lover or husband, it seems that the reason is not that they like "money", but that because they are somewhat in the condition of "father complex", most of them must seek men who look psychologically "big" and broad-minded.