Thanks for the response Maciamo (I apologize for not reading the earlier posts carefully enough; I'm at work and thus short on time!)
There's one way to know if she'd been lying to you - have regular and frequent STD tests.
I think that even if the percentages of people in Japan having casual (and "cheating") sex is high, you're doing your wife a disservice by tarnishing her with the same brush.
It's also your choice to not want to feel secure (feeling secure is as much having confidence in the choice you made to marry her, as it is her "convincing" you that she's not cheating on you). But her being Japanese was not a sudden shock or surprise to you - she's been Japanese (AND who she is, personality and behaviour-wise) the whole time that you've known her. And yet it was your (mutual; love is a two-way street after all!) decision to marry despite the cultural differences. And if you knew that certain cultural differences could be a "deal-breaker", you should have researched further and waited until you felt you had all the facts BEFORE marriage.
To be perfectly honest, I don't think it's healthy for any partner to presume that someone is guilty until proven innocent - and in that sense, perhaps you may eventually need to consider separation. Doubting her actions when she's out of your sight is, in my view, paranoid and disrespectful, even if EVERYONE in Japan is supposed to think nothing of cheating and ALL of those love hotels exist solely to tempt the people who find your wife to be attractive.
If both you and she are STD-free, and furthermore remain that way in subsequent blood tests, personally I would get rid of those emotions of insecurity and doubt. Otherwise, if you continue to be unhappy, I would separate and/or divorce. Let's say she's cheating (no matter who around her initiates this) - well, you don't want to live with it, so you should go your separate ways. Let's say she's not - then you're constantly poisoning your marriage with your doubts and worry. Either way it's not healthy.
I don't think that moving outside Japan will help - your wife will always be attractive and extraverted, and add to that the fact she'll look more exotic and be more enticing to non-Japanese. Even in a western country, I think there are plenty of people who enjoy having extramarital affairs. There are businesses that thrive on this. In Canada, for example, there's this e-business that's doing very well:
http://cwww.mii.ashleymadison.com/app/public/index.p
Sorry Maciamo, that you're feeling this way. Even if you have EVERY reason to suspect her or feel doubt, the bottom line to me is that it's not good for your relationship. And also no offense is intended by my advice - I just see it this way.
I have some more points to add... I've now lived in Ireland for over four years. I've come to understand quite a lot about the history and culture over here, and I have to say that I am totally incompatible with the way society works here. I am North American, and as such my values and behavioural expectations do not complement Irish ways AT ALL.
However, I married an Irish citizen who grew up here. And I believe we have a strong marriage based on a foundation of communication, trust, and innate compatibility. The only reason why we have this is because my husband seems to defy every single Irish stereotype there is. He's the polar opposite of the kind of man you'd expect an Irishman would be even remotely like. Yet he's a product of Irish society since it was all he knew until he graduated from university.
My parents are Japanese, yet they became immigrants because of the aspects of Japanese society that upset and infuriated them. They too were immersed in Japanese culture for the first 30 years of their lives.
My points from above is that just because people belong to a certain heritage, they will not sheepishly become cookie-cutter representatives of said culture. Many rebel against the status quo (in different ways). Many will reject societal values if said values are incompatible with their unique personality traits or choices in life. Not everyone will rebel overtly - my own aunts come to mind - they haven't moved out of Japan, but I can't say that they "conform" to many conventions that are dictated by Japanese masukomi, nor do they follow trends.
So again, this is why I don't believe that you can blame your mistrust of your wife solely due to how the statistics read. Your wife is an individual, with her own set of ideas, values, and past experiences that have shaped her. Her having known you and your values is also a part of her past and present. Unless she wants to get out of your marriage, I don't think she would be so disrespectful of your doubts that she would go out and around, cheating on you. Casual sex is just that (you seem to be more afraid of that than a full-blown emotional affair). Since it's casual, she can easily go without cheating unless she's a sex addict.
As for emotional affairs, I'm sure that they happen the world over, despite certain cultures being so intolerant of infidelity. The most that married or intensely committed couples can do in those situations is to accept that we're all human, and insist on timely communication so that minor misunderstandings and tension don't escalate into deal-breakers.
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